Book Review: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie – The Book That Radically Changed My Life
Hi friends,
Welcome back to another edition of book review season on The Invested Life!
If you’ve ever wondered how to build deeper, more fulfilling relationships—at home, at work, and in your community—this classic just might be the answer you’ve been looking for.
I’m Dan Cantillana, and today I’m sharing the book that started my entire personal growth journey in the marketplace: How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie.
I’ve read this book once a year for almost 15 years. Outside of the Bible, I’ve read it more than any other book on my shelf. It radically changed the way I see and treat people, and it continues to shape how I lead, serve, and love others every single day.
The Three Books I Read Every Year
Besides my daily Bible reading, there are three marketplace books I return to faithfully:
- How to Win Friends and Influence People – Dale Carnegie
- Atomic Habits – James Clear
- The Richest Man in Babylon
These three books have shaped the culture of how I operate with people. But today, I want to focus on the one that gave me a completely new set of “glasses” for every conversation and interaction.
Wisdom Is Wisdom – Timeless Biblical Truths
Dale Carnegie doesn’t quote verse after verse, but the book is dripping with timeless wisdom that lines up beautifully with Scripture. Here are the three big principles that hit me hardest (and keep hitting me every time I reread it):
1. Leadership Begins with Genuine Interest in Others
When you walk into a room, it shouldn’t be about you—it should be about the person standing in front of you.
“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.” — Philippians 2:4
Great leaders ask questions. They want to know your story, your accomplishments, your struggles, and how they can serve you. When you genuinely care, influence follows naturally.
But here’s the key word: genuine. People can smell fake a mile away. You have to really care—and when you do, conversations become rich and relationships deepen.
2. Words Build or They Destroy
“The tongue has the power of life and death.” — Proverbs 18:21
Dale Carnegie spends a lot of time showing how unnecessary criticism kills influence, while encouragement and vision create it.
As believers, we know God spoke the universe into existence. As leaders, we’re called to speak life too—to create opportunities, disciples, and kingdom impact.
The book is full of powerful stories (including one about a manager who lost a million dollars and was met with grace instead of anger). Those kinds of words build trust and lasting friendships.
3. Influence Comes from Humility, Not Ego
“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” — James 1:19
Great leaders listen first. They take a breath before replying. They let the other person finish their sentence.
I wish I had learned this sooner. For years I spent a lot of time taking my foot out of my mouth! Learning to slow down, listen deeply, and respond thoughtfully has changed my marriage, my parenting, my business, and my ministry.
A Funny (But True) Lesson in Genuineness
Let me share a quick story that proves how important it is to be real.
One Sunday I put on an extra coat of face lotion before church because Spokane winters are brutally dry. During worship I started sweating, and that second coat of lotion ended up in my eyes.
Right as a young lady came forward for prayer—crying and pouring her heart out—my eyes were burning. I started tearing up from the pain… and everyone in the congregation thought I was just being deeply compassionate!
My wife and I looked like we were having a Holy Spirit moment while I was actually just trying not to scream from lotion in my eyes.
Moral of the story? Be genuine. People can sense when you’re not. (And maybe skip the second coat of lotion before prayer team!)
The FROG Tool I Use Every Day
Want a simple way to show people you care? Use the FROG acronym in conversations:
- F – Family
- R – Recreation (what they do for fun)
- O – Occupation
- G – Goals
Start with family or recreation, then naturally move to occupation and goals. The next time you see them, bring up something they shared. People light up when they realize you were really listening.
My Challenge to You
The Law of 72 applies here: 72 hours from now, you could be halfway through this book.
Grab it on Amazon, Audible, or wherever you get books. I promise you’ll take notes. I’ve never met anyone who read it and said, “I hated that.” It’s a classic for a reason.
One Year of the Podcast – Help Me Celebrate!
We’re coming up on one full year of The Invested Life Podcast in April!
I’d love your help. Text me or email me at dancan@wavecapitallending.com and tell me:
- What you’ve enjoyed
- What you’d like us to cover
- Any testimonies of principles you’ve put into practice
I’ll do a mailbag episode and raffle off three books (one of each of my annual reads) to winners.
Final Thought
Love well. Do good.
Read the book. Apply the principles. Watch your relationships—and your influence—grow in ways you never imagined.
And remember: true life is found when you give it away.
I love you, and I’m cheering for you.
Love well, do good.
— Dan Cantillana
P.S. If you’re an accredited investor interested in real estate opportunities or need help with insurance, feel free to visit investwithdancan.com or dancanspokane.com. I’d be honored to serve you.
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